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African geniuses to launch Spooknig 1

Journal Entry: Sun Feb 24, 2013, 12:31 PM
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So people, this is sort breaking news and hot shit, so fucking hot that when I read about this, I had like severe laughter-induced convulsions up to the point where I nearly wet myself and vomited from happiness. Happiness puke, yep, that's right.

In any case, you know, me being a white supremacist and all, I get these pinko libfags all over my shit with the same mantra over and over:

"African people are exactly like me and you, they have as much talented people as everywhere else, they're vibrant, and harmonious with nature, and beautiful, and capable of the most wondrous things - and if they don't achieve anything, it's because WHITE MAN IS HOLDING THEM DOWN TO THIS VERY DAY! Racist whites robbed Africa of their riches, sold all the negroid race Einsteins into slavery, DUUUUH!" "POC's are just as smart and intelligent as you, even more, because they're not RAYCISS!".

They're telling every white person that black people are equal, that they are all future doctors, scientists, the cream of the crop of humanity - and the only reason why they arent such NOW, because facts say that blacks have the potential, but not the result, is because of RAYCISSSM everywhere, lack of edumacation and praise for the black race.

Well, I will present to you, my watchers, the hugest slap to the face of SWPL, bleeding-heart egalitarian white shitheads and social justice warriors. I will present to you the real African achievement black people amount to when there is no evil whitey holding their hand and whipping their back, figuratively speaking.

I give you - Spooknig 1, the Ugandan homebrew Space (anal) probe to launch a mouse, and then a black person. The pinnacle of Black teknawlagay!

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

And no, this is serious shit people. This aerogrill-ricecooker hybrid is the spacecraft Ugandans intend to launch at the nearest forest... sorry, space orbit.

Let's hear from the scientists and venture capitalists themselves:

Uganda will soon launch the first space observer called Cadimella, Capt. Chris Nsamba, the chief executive officer and founder of the African Space Research Program (ASRP), has revealed.

Nsamba was briefing the Vice-President, Edward Ssekandi, who inspected the launch pad of the space observer at Kimaka Airfield in Jinja on Monday.

"This has demonstrated that Ugandans can also participate in sophisticated programmes. This is impressive and the Government will support the association. I am going to brief the President about this," Ssekandi said.

Nsamba revealed that the space probe has self-defence, anti-time missile features, which protect it from being hit by missiles destined to destroy it in case it passes in the space of another country.

After its launch, they will put a mouse in it and will have it lifted to the stratosphere by a helium balloon.

"We shall send a mouse to space. If it comes back alive, it will mean that Uganda is able to send human beings into space and we shall embark on constructing a new space observer that a person can use," Nsamba said


This, my friends, is fucking Hi-tech. Not your dumb iPhones, electric cars, vacuum trains and ISS. This is what creative minds do when they are confronted by lack of resource and funds. You snap a 120mm PC fan and a webcam to a rice-cooker, then break apart some calculators to form solar-panel arreys, scotch-tape it together and voi-la - you have a SOPHISTICATED AIRCRAFT with SELF-DEFENDING ANTI-TIME MISSLE features and then have it launched in space with a mouse on-board with a helium balloon.

Never mind there is no visible defence systems, nevermind that helium balloons cannot into space, never mind it's not even pressurized - awww who am I kidding, why would you pressurize a bean pot - never mind noone know what is this mysterious African weapon such as an anti-time missle? No, the power of Black Hope and Change will charge it right up to greet the motherfucking alien niggaz. And of course, it has defences, because you know, all the jealous whitey and azn nations are gonna target this flying turd-saucer with their ICBMs, because DEY RAYCISS!

Here are some technical specifications of this Ugandan miracle breakthrough:

-Orbit Altitude: Over 176km Above Sea Level
-Orbit Speed Range: 6200km/h
-Life On-board: Mice/Rat
-Re-entry method: 3 phase shoot deployment in ascending order
-Oxygen: 8.3litres
-Number of dake pilots/controllers: 4 persons excluding mission commander
-Space Collection: Will collect dust molecules from space neighborhood for lab analysis in regard to ice age
-Ability: Can be controlled from anywhere in the world
-Re-Entry cooling systems, manual and remotely deployed.
-Anti float in mice chamber -Anti float method: magnetism
-Each command you send to the Cadimella, it talks back to you, it can talk ladies and gentlemen, it can talk back to you as its in space .


Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us (c) :iconros-kovac:

HOWLEE LAWDY NIGGUH! IT CAN RETURN? ANTI-GRAVY-TY WITH DEM FUCKING MAGNETS (HOW DO THEY WORK?) IT CAN TALK TO YA BACK? Like wut? "Im not yo homie nigguh, I beez in spess n shit, ya give comands to yar bitch, dawg!" It say it can talk ladies and gentlement, can it talk them to bed? But most importantly, the general idea is that if this metal bowl can somehow carry a mouse to space, it CERTAINLY can do the same with a human. Can we volunteer Obama to be the first Afronaut?

But yes. This is state of the art, demonstrated here in all it's aluminum foil glory:

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

Dem buttons, man.

You'll say: - damn Torture-Device, you're a racist, horrible motherfucker, why you come up with this crazy shit to make black people appear dumb and savage? This is most likely a racist white supremacist fraud to cover up the fact that indeed, Africa is moving forward with all her might and becoming the leading power of the world, with all the fucking VIBRANCY in that motherfucker? The unity? The POWER OF DA BLACK MAN COMPELLING YA? Jesus, Torture-Device, it's not like Egypshuns and shiet invented stuff, it's not like Africans had dem universities and brilliant cultural social thingies when we savage whites were bathing once in a lifetime in dirty Europe? It's not like we didn't steal everything from these peaceful minorities who couldn't defend their innovation? This be a fraud, you bigot.

But no. It's fo rizzle - check out the ASRP site, the organization of the African Space Research Programm: ugandanway.com/asrp/news.php

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

And these are these mighty brains behind the breakthrough, this brilliant spark of black ingeniousity:
Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

Oh these smiling faces, each of them denying the horribly rayciss myth of the Bell Curve. You know these people are gonna launch this space probe with a giant rubber band, and then it, wheezing, would propell itself through the air and vacuum with its 120mm PC fan powered by a piece of buffalo dung. Who needs NASA or Roskosmos?

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

But hey. We're still told about how black people are great. How they are capable of great things. And this is their great thing when they're not working for some white guy or corp. I mean, jesus. In Russia space flight had been a special thing, given our breakthroughs and contributions to the humanity in this branch of science and industry. We had launched a man in space only 60 years after being a rather technologically backwards agrarian country, that had suffered a devastating war.

And despite all the humanitarian aid and technology supply of Africa, they do this. What is this, but not a testament of difference? And don't tell me this shit sucks because it's a small-team, underfunded project.

This is what black people do on their own: youtu.be/qF2FQIoXMYg

This is what white people do on their own with limited resources: rt.com/news/hover-bike-star-wa…

The space probe fiasco, and the Skyhawk fiasco - srsly, see the above Youtube video about a Ugandan plane with no rudders, no ENGINE, no NOTHING but a fuselage - is just the testament to the "cargo cult" nature of black people. They just can't into technology.
They try to slap together some Radioshack debris parts together to make it look like the shit the abhorrent whitey does, and they think it will do the exact same thing. Its a CARGO CULT. And dont even try to excuse it with lack of information - these people do have Internet access, they have videocameras, they have cellphone, all that shit, but they have no idea how anything works. They can just smile and say big words like parrots, not really processing whats going on. They are fucking unbelievable.

This is just brilliant. I'm hiccuping still from this invaluable piece of evidence, that so solidly, blantantly stomps the pink-glassed liberal egalitarian fantasies in the soil in pieces. Into the fucking mud. Yes, fuckers, look at this shit, look at it and weep - your favorite disadvantaged minority performs so WELL when the playing field is evened, doesnt it? It so vividly demonstrates the futility of venture and development in the region where these people dwell. They have no shame of their ignorance, no awareness of their cargo cult.

Instead of building the wheel, they try to imitate a plane.

And really - these people, if we're supposedly their descendants, had a headstart on us whites. So why are they lagging behind? Why - and isn't this the answer to this question? The answer that no matter the donations, the aid, the cheating in rules, affirmative action, grants and so on - biology, simple fucking physiology, trumps all of the stupid white libfags cum-crusted dreams and movies and ads about smart and smooth black doctors and scientists. There's their Django, looking in the cam and holding a mock-up piece of shit, announcing it can launch a man in space.


Spooknig 1, this is ground control... we have a problem. Pilot had suffered a cooncussion when launching the probe, over.

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

____


Also, thanks for all the feedback on mah audioblog! Taken everything into processing, so look out for the new and improved rant coming next week)

Add a Comment:
 
:iconambiant:
Ambiant Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2013
Uganda is a regressive shit hole of a country; Uber Religious (primarily Roman Catholic), sham-tastic elections, horrific tin-plated dictator operating under the guise of a democratic government, constant civil war and appalling civil rights record. Everything Uganda touches turns to shit, little wonder, their "space toaster" did as well...
Reply
:icongnarwalde:
Gnarwalde Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2013  Student General Artist
Hahahaha, glory to us. Just shows you how the frontal lobe can make such a difference.
Reply
:iconalexmdle:
AlexMdle Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Will everyone stop with the whining already?

Torture-device whines about people whining to him about Africans, to which I see people either responding by sucking up to him or whining about it incessantly.

I do find this thing monumentally stupid, but would not haste to judge the innate nature of an entire race with this. Frankly, the focus he put up to there shows that he really didn't do his homework on the nature of development there. He's smart, he can do better than that, but he's also not goddamn infallible.
Reply
:icontd-vice:
TD-Vice Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
im goddamn infallible
Reply
:iconalexmdle:
AlexMdle Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Nah.
Reply
:icontd-vice:
TD-Vice Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
yah
Reply
:iconmargenal:
Margenal Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
[link]

Not a real stroy, but this artiisanal work made me think of this pearl of dark cynism
Reply
:icontd-vice:
TD-Vice Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
sorry, but we're talking about real shit only here on my blog.
Reply
:iconnick1020:
Nick1020 Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2013
My god. I can't tell you guys are serious or not.
Reply
:iconmbachsylla:
mbachsylla Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2013
Has even one of you people been in north Africa or in countries like Ghana, Ethiopia, or Tunisia, those countries are awesome. Seriously I hate the image the media is giving to Africa as a whole, always taking on front cover those retarded central Africans and ignoring the rest.
I am African, Half Guinean and Senegalese, I have been around the world, lived in Europe (studied there) been in the US (Minnesota n other).
And I swear that if I had to choose a place to live permanently it would be in one of my home countries not Anywhere else.

It just pains me to see how you Caucasian bastards LUST for the image of poor pathetic stupid ill fed Africa.
Reply
:icontd-vice:
TD-Vice Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ethiopia and Ghana, aren't these the places that constantly shriek for donations for their dying starving children en masse?

Also due you even realize the massive irony in your comment? You had to go to Europe and US to study. Where do you live now, eh? That's an interesting question.

Never hear of people going to Africa to study. Plus, Africans give this image to Africa themselves, you've got only your own bastard selves to blame for it)
Reply
:iconwillroy:
Willroy Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2013
And I love how TD cant possibly respond to my comment. but when an African man comments against his stereotype of north Africans he just has to respond.
Reply
:icontd-vice:
TD-Vice Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Dude bro, I work a fulltime job, I comment when I have time. Dont be so butthurt, see, I paid attention to you right now!
Reply
:iconwillroy:
Willroy Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2013
I know and I understand, I was just poking fun at the fact you replied to an african man instead of my barrage of insults to you.
Reply
:iconmbachsylla:
mbachsylla Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2013
LOL I started studying in Senegal and Tunisia,(family moves a lot). Then I decided to continue in France, been in the US only for Vacations. I regularly go back to Tunisia for holidays, and my family lives there.

Ok scratch Ethiopia from the list but Ghana shrieking for donations and starving kids that's total BullshitE.

And of course there isn't a rush of students from north to south simply because the quality of life and educational system is undeniably better in your countries, that's a fact.

I also agree with your Caucasian powdered ass, that aficans give this image to Africa BUT I just want to point out that NOT all african countries are in the same Basket, despite the fact that your media keeps gluing us all together like some siamese retards.

Love your art BTW
I worship tzeentch ...
Reply
:icontr01ka:
Tr01ka Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Student General Artist
Чой-то я по инторнету этого спукнига не нахожу совсем. Странно как-то получается.
Reply
:iconwillroy:
Willroy Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2013
So a bunch of kaffers are trying to launch a 'spaceship' into space, note the 'bunch'. These people are in a third world country, intellect cannot make you money, my parents grew up in South Africa, they worked there fucking asses off to immigrate to Australia because they knew there was barely a future for me and my brothers there. A select bunch of people are dumb enough to try and recreate a spaceship, not the entire race. An ENTIRE RACE of people could not all be in favour of this stupid project. That's like seeing 2 black guys beat up a woman on the street, then you observe that other black people have become doctors, pilots, and have in fact, been to space. but your ignorance makes to believe that 100% of a race are all intellectually challenged. JUST THIS ASSUMPTION makes me believe that somehow, someone in your life made you dislike Negroes, perhaps you just wanted to fit into whatever neck-bearded, inbred community you are in now.

Beyond the fact your art amazes me, and I will probably never stop watching you, you will still be an ignorant dumb-ass for making such an assumption. You are the scum of the earth and one day you will realise, or not, you could let your own arrogance engulf you till the day you die. I don't really give a shit. just want you to know that you could be a lot happier.

PS: I love your stuff, huge fan of your ignorant, stereotype making fat ass.
Reply
:iconevill-bob:
Evill-Bob Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2013
*CAN'T BE TRUE

Sorry about that.
Reply
:iconevill-bob:
Evill-Bob Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2013
Torture Device is giant flamboyant racist!? NO, NO IT CAN BE TRUE. CERTAINLY YOU JEST.
Reply
:iconwillroy:
Willroy Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2013
I didn't act surprised dip-shit. I've been watching him for a while and I love how fucked up his art is.Though, he is ignorant for making such a large assumption though about an entire race.
Reply
:icontd-vice:
TD-Vice Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Just one thing about assumptions.

You see, there's such things as statistics. When 90 people out of 100 do stupid shit, it's not only logical, but goddamn neccessary to judge all these 100 people on the merit of those 90 who do stupid shit.

Thats's the thing with blacks. Hundreds of years of history, documented occurences and the current situation speaks against them. It's no "assumption". If Africa was overflowing by white and asian immigrants all fighting each other to live in a center of innovation and civilization, if American blacks didnt account for the majority of heavy crimes in the country while comprising only 13% of the population, if the enriched Europe with valid contribution, not dirt and poverty - then yeah, you could say I'm pulling shit outta my ass.

But... it's not so. I don't care if 1 black out of 100 is an awesome person. I care that the rest 99 are scum. And that seems to be the correct proportion, given the state Africa is in, and the black-run American cities are. And no, it's not because of "POVERTY". Poverty isnt some separate intelligent independent entity, a demon or shit - its not poverty that pursues blacks, but blacks breeding it themselves.
Reply
:iconevill-bob:
Evill-Bob Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2013
Dip-shit? Did I touch a nerve? Is your short temper, repeating yourself, and insatiable need to state the blaring obvious your main character traits?

tl:dr version: You mad bro?
Reply
:iconwillroy:
Willroy Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2013
You assumed I didn't know he was racist you fuck knuckle neck
bearded cum dumpster shit fuck ass sand nigger gypsy dodging Jew.

And no you didn't hit a nerve, did the fact I immediately come to the correct assumption that you are a premature wank stain on the surface of the internet? yes. a simple "dip-shit" would suffice to encapsulate you and your reasons for trying to piss me off.
Reply
:iconevill-bob:
Evill-Bob Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2013
You are so precious.
Reply
:iconwillroy:
Willroy Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013
end of discussion
deviantART muro drawing Comment Drawing
Reply
:iconevill-bob:
Evill-Bob Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2013
Not until I point this last bit out:

You are a mere child that I managed to get a rile out of so easily, in fact I wasn't even trying at first but decided to have some fun once you over reacted. Your atrocious butchering of the English language and conflicting statements entertained me for a time, but I guess one must draw a line somewhere.

I end this with a recommendation: keep a clear and level head, the world is not gonna hold your hand and praise you for little outbursts. And thanks for the laughs.
Reply
(2 Replies)
:iconvomit-faces:
Vomit-Faces Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh my god what the bitch, fucking niggers in space!
Reply
:iconderchin1:
Derchin1 Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013   Writer
You guys are unbelievable. You criticize and humiliate them for not achieving nor amounting to anything, but when they prove you wrong, you set your standards even higher and humiliate their successes, completely oblivious to the fact that poverty, constant, warfare, and lack of education has a reason for the crudeness for their space satellite.
Reply
:iconkomita:
Komita Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013
And the reason for the poverty and lack of education? We criticize them for not acheaving that chain of reasons... that we call civilization.
Reply
:iconderchin1:
Derchin1 Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013   Writer
"And the reason for the poverty and lack of education?"

Because they're black? Is that where you're headed? Because it seems like it.

Who's really the ignorant here?
Reply
:iconkomita:
Komita Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013
You? Not because of a colour but lack of IQ.
Reply
:iconderchin1:
Derchin1 Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013   Writer
Due to lack of education.
Reply
:iconkomita:
Komita Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013
Why is that?
Reply
:iconderchin1:
Derchin1 Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2013   Writer
It takes money to create a school, let alone for teacher and staff pay and adequate materials for said learning.
Reply
:iconkomita:
Komita Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2013
Why not?
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icongeorgesconcepts:
GeorgesConcepts Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013
Torture-device, you made my night. I'm still laughing like a demented walrus from 5 minutes ago. You're racist as hell but damn, you're funny. Mind if I share links to here?
Reply
:iconv0lk3r9:
V0LK3R9 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013
I may not agree with the white supremacy but I have to say I found this funny. Uganda certainly has more pressing matters to deal with before even thinking about space.
Reply
:iconazza9:
Azza9 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013
Uganda... Srsly... Your entire country has a fleet of 1 plane and you are attempting space...

Babysteps... Once you've mastered the engineering principals behind a supersonic air craft only THEN should you TRY the lofty science of space travel...
Mach 1 1st, being able to break earth orbit later.

I sort of hope this is some cleverly elaborate scam.
Reply
:iconkomita:
Komita Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013
No need for match 1, they are using a baloon to go to space ^
Reply
:iconlitfuse55:
litfuse55 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm a hardcore liberal who does not agree with white supremacy or racism (to an extent (I don't hate any one group, I like all groups that I have an equal opportunity to make fun of)), but this is funny as hell! The Ugandans should worry about their children problems before they get all into space programming. WTH?!
Reply
:iconwolfofrebellion:
WolfOfRebellion Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist
"And really - these people, if we're supposedly their descendants, had a headstart on us whites. So why are they lagging behind?"

As far as I know, Slavs, Norse and Germanians don't come from Africa. That BS is invented by zionist colonialists due that they never researched Eastern Europe and Asia.
Reply
:icontr01ka:
Tr01ka Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Student General Artist
Oh, how I laughed. Once in a while, really funny news.
Maybe they should stop pretending that they are like whites, but better, and start hunting elephants with spears?
Reply
:icontr01ka:
Tr01ka Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Student General Artist
Мышку жалко!
Reply
:iconlt-raume:
Lt-raume Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Student Digital Artist
:iconohusplz:
I can't say I agree with the whole White Supremacy thing;
but holy shit what the fuck are they doing, they could've at least search up some information from other countries and take a few lessons from them, that would've made more sense.

Ok Africa. Ok.
Reply
:iconabsolutley-delish:
Absolutley-Delish Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013
At first I was like, "aww come on, don't be so hard on 'em. that's not bad for a bunch of school kids." but then I read a little further and um.. THIS is the product of their elite space program scientists?
Reply
:iconsafor:
Safor Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013
It would be funny if it weren't so pathetic.
Reply
:iconlasagnaface:
Lasagnaface Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
why the fuck would you even go through the effort to write this
Reply
:iconm1330:
M1330 Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013
Because it's absolutely hilarious, what's your problem?
Reply
:iconlasagnaface:
Lasagnaface Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
because i have a sense of humor that developed beyond giggling when i poop
Reply
:iconm1330:
M1330 Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013
This isn't even a joke. This is real.
Reply
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